Focus, Anders
by elfgirl931
Summary: Posting some fluff that I've been writing as part of a larger story, focusing on the three years Anders yearned for Hawke and tried to stay away from her. Hawke gets a minor injury and Anders has trouble focusing on the task of healing her


_Focus_, Anders thought to himself, wiping sweat off of his forehead. The balmy heat of the Wounded Coast had nothing to do with his lack of concentration – the problem was the mage walking some distance ahead of him with guard captain Aveline. Sasha Hawke made no effort to keep her voice down as their little group hunted renegade Qunari. She laughed loudly and gestured widely, sidling from one side of the path to the other. More than once, she glanced back at him with a glint in her green eyes and gave him a mischievous little smile before tossing her hair back and continuing her conversation with Aveline.

The fourth time it happened, Anders felt Varric's elbow jab at his ribs. "You might want to pick your jaw up off the floor, Blondie," the dwarf smirked. "You're going to start attracting flies."

Anders chose not to dignify the comment with a response, walking just fast enough to leave him behind. _Focus_, he thought again, desperate not to let Varric see his reddening face. Before he could collect himself, though, half a dozen spears came flying towards him, seemingly out of nowhere.

Hawke had already cast a storm of ice over the Tal Vashoth ambushers, but some of them were already leaping down off the cliff face at her. Aveline braced her shield, throwing off the blows from their spears and maces. Varric immediately began firing bolt after bolt into the fray, reloading Bianca with an almost calm demeanor.

Luckily, Anders had had enough presence of mind to call up a magical shield to deflect the flying spears. Now he sent bolts of energy flying at the Tal Vashoth, stopping only to call up shields around both Aveline and Sasha. Even in the chaos of battle, he couldn't keep his eyes off of her. _Stupid,_ he thought dully, even as he whirled his staff over his head in casting. _She shouldn't be so close, she should be out of range..._

He relaxed when Aveline cut down the last of the Qunari. After a cursory glance around the battlefield, she sheathed her sword, and that was the signal for the rest of them to start looting the fallen for anything valuable. Hawke did a little victory dance, twirling her staff and laughing as she skipped over the bodies. Anders shook his head and couldn't help smiling a bit as he gestured at Aveline to come over to him, wanting to check and see if she needed any healing.

One moment that his eyes weren't on her. Just one moment, and when he looked back there was a Qunari looming over Hawke with a broken spear, screaming _saarebas_. Aveline ran in front of Anders' line of vision, unslinging her shield and shouting a challenge. When he could see Hawke again, his heart nearly stopped. She was lying face down on the ground, and so still. Rage poured over him, and he could feel Justice boiling just beneath the surface, ready to be unleashed.

As suddenly as she went down, Hawke was on her feet again, the bottom half of her face a mess of blood, but she was _up_. Anders felt almost ashamed at the level of relief he felt to see her alive. She screamed for Aveline to move aside and blasted the Qunari with a particularly powerful fireball.

Anders reached her side, practically shoving Aveline out of the way to cup Hawke's face in his hands. He hoped she wasn't hurt too badly, but there was too much blood pouring down her chin to be able to tell.

"Come and sit," he said to her, guiding her gently to sit on a rock, his calm voice betraying the adrenaline still painfully kicking through him.

"Anders, I'm fine," Hawke protested. "I stepped back at the last second, he barely got me."

"You're bleeding all over, I'd hardly call that 'barely." He rummaged in his pack for his water skin, trying not to let his hands shake. _Focus, Anders. She's alive. She'll be fine. _"Hold still."

"Yes, oh fussy mother hen," she laughed at him, but abruptly stopped when the skin of her lip ripped a bit further.

"Now's the time for you to stop talking," said Anders, but he kept his voice and his hands gentle as he wiped a damp rag over the blood on her chin. Hawke's eyes had closed when her lip split, but when she opened them again, he was caught off guard by their green depths, not to mention how close they were to his own. _Focus. Now's not the time. _Justice raged silently at him inside his head, chastising him for his continuing obsession, but Anders ignored him, as he tended to do these days when it came to Hawke.

He put two of his fingers over the wide gash on her bottom lip and let cool healing magic wash over the wound, knitting it back together. His hand lingered at the corner of her mouth even after he was done, all of his attention transfixed by the fullness and shape of her lips. Suddenly he was seized with a desire to kiss her, right then and there, even with Varric and Aveline looking on. They were already sitting close together (they _had _to be, he had rationalized, in order to heal her properly) but now he found himself edging subtly closer, his eyes half lidded – as if he actually _would _kiss her and it wasn't just some insane fantasy. Justice roared in the back of his mind, words like **duty **and **distraction** reverberating in his skull, but it still took all of Anders' willpower to close his eyes and pull away.

Hawke blinked a few times, glancing from his fingers still on her lips and back to his eyes, and a flush slowly rose in her cheeks. "Anders?" she said quietly. "Is everything all right?"

He swallowed and reluctantly removed his hand, suddenly unable to meet her eyes. _She deserves better than this. _"Yes. You're… you're fine now."

She gave him her usual cheeky grin, although there was a hint of confusion in her eyes this time. The smile stayed on her lips when she leaned forward to give him a playful kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for taking care of me, mother hen." Before he could react, Hawke stood up and draped her arm around Aveline's shoulders, sauntering down the path like nothing had happened.

Anders was rooted where he sat, one hand on his cheek. The place where Hawke had kissed him lingered like a burn, and he found himself wondering what it would feel like to actually kiss her lips. _Keep wondering, for you will never know_, Justice seethed quietly.

"C'mon, Blondie," Varric said by way of interruption, poking Anders in the back of the head. "She won't wait, you know," he said, gesturing towards Hawke, who was already running gleefully ahead of Aveline along the path to Kirkwall.

Anders couldn't help wondering if the dwarf was talking about something other than the obvious, but by the time he stood up, there was nothing for him to do but try to catch up with the others. Secretly, he was glad to be at the end of the line – he was free to occasionally touch his cheek without being subjected to Varric's knowing glances.


End file.
